I’ve been a southern girl all my life…so the correct use of ‘Bless Your Heart’ has always come naturally to me. I’ve been able to read the undertones since birth. 😉
Recently on my trip to Atlanta I met some wonderful new friends at the Haven Conference…some from the south, some from the north. {I love the North…..one of our favorite places is Vermont!}
When one of them was sharp enough to notice that when someone says ‘Bless Your Heart’ it didn’t always mean the same thing as it appears to on the outside….I knew a ‘Bless Your Heart’ lesson was in store. {It can be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, in other words.}
You see, here in the South we believe in being polite, even if it kills us…so sometimes when we really want to say something nasty, we just say “Bless your heart” because it makes us feel better.
I highly suggest that if you are not trained and well-acquainted with this powerful phrase that you do not use it…..many people have done that and, sad to say, never lived it down.
Here’s the quick lesson that some of us gave our new friends in Atlanta last week:
Some of the Many Uses of ‘Bless Your Heart’
Example: When someone walks into a room wearing a distasteful outfit and someone says “Bless her/his heart” … it means: “That poor thing has the tackiest taste in the world!” or it could even be more specific as in “Good grief, those pants make her bottom look like it’s dragging the ground!”
When, let’s say, a family member calls and tells you of something stupid another family member has done there are several “Bless her/his heart”s and this means: “Well, even though they don’t have enough sense to get out of a wet paper bag, we still love them.”
When someone you love and care about gets hurt or has something bad happen to them and you say “Bless your heart”…. it means “Oh, I am so sorry you are going through this, I wish I could take it away and make things better.”
It can be a form of empathy and used as a big hug…. as in when a friend calls and tells you about how bad her job is, and the kids are going crazy, and the dog just destroyed the house….. we say “Bless your heart”….and it means: “Honey, I hate that you’ve had a bad day, but I’m glad it’s you and not me!”
And then one of the biggest ways southerners use “Bless your heart”….is a way to identify each other. You pretty much know where someone came from when they use this powerful phrase. You also know where someone came from if they use it incorrectly. 🙂 {And you appropriately say “Bless. your. heart.”}
Now, this is definitely an abbreviated lesson….just in a nutshell. There are many other ways to use it, and the nuances are many….for instance: when it is said through clenched teeth, drawn out slowly, with a squeal, etc…..but, for any of you that are not familiar with it, I don’t want to overwhelm you.
I am proud to say that we had our new friend using this lovely phrase 90% correctly within two days. She was a quick learner. 😉 Only a few stumbles…but we quickly said “Bless your heart!” and covered for her.
She also had a question about the phrase “Fixin’ to”……whew! That’s a whole other lesson. I’ll have to tackle that on another day.
Bless ALL of your hearts today~
{and I mean that in the best, most loving way}
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